Currently reading:

H.I.V.E by Mark Walden

Count your books with me! Mwoarh!

Count your books with me! Mwoarh!

Sunday, 11 April 2010

The Latest Crime Wave

Honestly you do have to wonder about the brains that our local criminals have. Yesterday a spaced out zombie wandered into our neighbour's garden and stole two bags of soil...in broad daylight. This morning he came back and stole an old plastic bird-feeder full of  mouldy bird seed! Ooh yes he'll be retiring to the South of France on the money he'll earn from selling that. Nice little earner...NOT! What a wassock. Maybe he's planning to convert the feeder into some kind of bong...heh heh...if he does he'll be getting a nice dose of salmonella up his beak and down his gob! I found it amusing when the cops advised us not to open the door to him if he comes back again. Yes thank you for that PC Plonker! I wasn't exactly planning to let him wander into the house. I'm more worried that he might start raiding the washing line next-he could probably use my Bridget Jones pants as a two man tent to camp in! Yikes!   
   The damn cat from next door is prowling through our garden again. If it even thinks of leaving another dinky-doo in my rockery it will get my padded slipper up its hairy bum! What gets me is that it stares up at the window as it gets itself into launch position and starts twitching its bum ready to deposit. I hate cats! I'm thinking about buying a huge dog just so I can feed every neighbourhood cat to it.Or perhaps a nice pool of pirhana fish would do the trick. Must investigate the pet shop.
   Did lots of reading yesterday but not much last night as I was watching the golf. I'm ploughing through a couple of true life child abuse books which really suck out every happy thought you ever had, a bit like Harry Potter's Dementors.I finished:
Stuart Howarth-Please Daddy No-a boy and his sisters sexually abused by his father including one disabled sister with spina bifida, which is as sick as you can do even by a pervert's standards.Scumbag. They should bring back hanging for sickos like that. It would save the taxpayer some money and keep other kids safer with one less paedo roaming the streets.
  Toni Maguire-Don't Tell Mummy-starts raping his daughter when she is 6 years old and his wife chooses to ignore the abuse. This book made me boiling mad and at times I was yelling at the pages as I read them. Her mother was every bit as bad as her father in this one. Difficult book to read and I'm just finishing it this afternoon. I think I might pick up a nice cheerful vampire book next!

Happy reading!





 

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