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H.I.V.E by Mark Walden

Count your books with me! Mwoarh!

Count your books with me! Mwoarh!

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Back from holiday...

I managed to get away for a few days to Blackpool-of course I pick the time when the whole north of England is flooded and the rain is never ending! Luckily the parts of Blackpool I was in were not affected by flooding so I was able to get my shopping done (quickly) then a mad dash back to the hotel to dry off each afternoon. Try dashing when you are very overweight and weighed down by a backpack of Christmas presents and two bags from Waterstones...I was wheezing like a set of deflating bagpipes!

The good bits:
Spending all my holiday money in Waterstones. Yes 150 pounds worth of booky fun! It's my only bad habit so I'm happy with a yearly treat like that. (now it's back to trading on second hand book sites) Ah there is nothing like the shopping spree....the new book smell wafting past your nostrils, the shiny new cover twinkling in the artificial lights, the undamaged spine, your arms aching as you stagger up to the till, the shocked look of the girl serving you as you grin inanely at her in anticipation of reading these bad boys...and the slight horror as the till keeps ringing up higher and higher! Oh yes I love a Blackpool spendathon!

No longer getting the feeling of shin splints as you jump down from the tram. These nice new trams and tram stops leave you with just a small step to negotiate. Bliss!

The taxi rank is just outside Waterstones!!!

The bad bits:
The pissing rain was never ending so if you had to sit down for a rest you ended up with a soggy arse.

The Disney Store was crap. Couldn't get the dwarf that I wanted so I was the only Grumpy in the damn shop.

Steaming piles of dog turd left all over the South Promenade for days at a time. Whole ecosystems were forming in them! I swear they looked like velociraptor deposits.

The obligatory old woman on the tram discussing her health issues with you. I don't WANT to know about your troubles 'downstairs'!!!!! Gross.

The noise in the hotel this year was never ending-screaming kids, a woman from Edinburgh in the room next to mine with a laugh like Woody bloody Woodpecker, the guy who was suffering from deadly wind....you did NOT follow him up the stairs as every step he made produced another loud retort from his rear end. Yeuch!

  

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